Magic Hat

Magic Hat is a delicious beer that has a lot of hops.  Magic Hat is one of those beers that you usually crave at the bar when you see its cool logo on the tap and you realize that you haven’t had something that delicious in a while.  You expect the bartender to scream “Abracadabra” as he places your perfectly poured beer in front of you at the bar.  Those first few sips are magical, but then you enjoy it so much that you overindulge and you are left with a nasty hangover.  Meet the next man named “Magic Hat.”

Admittedly, Magic Hat was not one of my suitors, but rather one of my best friends’. However, I felt involved enough in their brief courtship that it almost felt like he was one of my dates. My friend was being a great wing woman and doing her best friend duties by attending one of the Stir events with me. We were approached by a lot of men, but none that we really had a lot in common with or were in the same generation as.  My friend and I were using the “we need another drink” exit route to excuse ourselves from our suitors and go to the bar.  This was a great exit strategy, but the outcome is drinking a minimum of four drinks in the span of an hour.

While we were putting out the vibe at the bar waiting for our cocktails to be poured, a cute, tall, gentleman approached my friend.  We found out that he was a fan of her alma mater, had a reputable job, he lived on his own, and he could strike up a conversation that didn’t sound like a job interview or use the words “world of warcraft.”

My friend and Mr. Magic Hat were having a great conversation so I started making some side conversations of my own so they could get to know each other. This meant me talking to the bartender more than any of the suitors, but I was happy that my friend found someone who met a lot of her criteria.  A couple of brews later, my friend and I decided it was probably a good time to call it a night.

I slurred something that sounded like “did you guys exchange numbers?” and my friend and Magic Hat each pulled out their smartphones for the ceremonial exchanging of the digits.  We snuck a peak at Magic Hat’s technology in his hand and were greeted by two bunny rabbits staring us down on the background.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, we asked him who the two whiskered friends were on his background. Our greatest fears were answered when he told us that the two bunnies were his pets (that he shared via joint custody with his ex) and they were brothers to a cat.

Magic Hat really was a magician…he pulled two bunnies and a cat out of his hat and made any attraction towards him disappear.

After exchanging numbers, my friend and I hopped away as fast as possible. We started making bunny puns on the subway ride home while laughing at the situation.  Before we got to the first stop, there was a text from Magic Hat on my friend’s phone. She asked if I would like to hear what he said to which I replied, “of course, I’m all ears.”

The text was sweet enough – something along the lines of it was great to meet her and that he would love to take my friend out for dinner next week.

I told her it might be worth going giving him a second chance over dinner – she did like him until the pets came into the picture anyway. I also told her she should refrain from ordering rabbit at dinner as it might give the wrong impression.

Over the next few days, however, the texts and the calls from Magic Hat to my friend started multiplying like rabbits. To say he was coming on a little strong was an understatement.  Calling someone your valentine, texting before 8 AM every morning and using smiley faces in every text is a bit much from someone you’ve known for a total of 32 minutes.

My friend decided she was not as interested in Magic Hat after getting to know him via smartphone, so she decided to tell Magic Hat that she didn’t think they were a good match.

Magic Hat was not pleased with this news and his texts were multiplying at a faster rate than usual with desperate undertones.  We think he tricked us into thinking that he was acting differently than usual because he really liked my friend.

Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

We thought my friend had gotten out of the rabbit’s hole until she coincidentally (or so she thought) ran into Magic Hat at a concert venue in Pittsburgh a few weeks after their first encounter.  She was surprised he was there until he informed her that he “remembered” her saying that she liked the band that was playing and he was hopping (sorry, hoping) that he would run into her if he just showed up.  After not talking for three weeks, this bunny lover still though he might get some tail from my friend.  She was completely freaked out that he carrot-stalked her and his comments were a little hare-raising. Without a Peeps, she walked away and went on with her night.

Lucky for her, this all happened during Easter season so he had other distractions to keep him busy.  Lettuce pray he finds somebunny to love.  She and I drink together often and hope for some tall, dark, and handsome single man to be pulled out of the Magic Hat one day. It truly is a magical beer.


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