Polar Vortex in a Glass

The Polar Vortex is in full force. You know the saying, if you can’t beat them; join them.  Instead of fighting the Polar Vortex, put it in a glass. It’s basically a White Russian with a little something extra.

2 oz. Vodka

1 oz. Coffee Liqueur

Light Cream

Whipped Cream

Chocolate Shavings

 

 

Fill a highball glass with ice cubes and pour the 2oz. vodka and 1 oz. coffee liqueur into the glass. Fill the remaining of the glass with light cream.  Top with whipped cream and add chocolate shavings (or substitute for chocolate sprinkles or cocoa powder).  Enjoy!

Optional: Drink next to a hottie while bundled up in front of a fire. It’s the best way to fight the polar vortex.

 

The Power (Snatch) of Love

A majority of my stories have detailed what men should not do. I wanted to switch it up this time and write about one of the things men should do: date a crossfitter.

Celine Dion sings a powerful love balled called ‘The Power Of Love’ that details the strength that love can have over a man and a woman.  I am a personal believer that a different type of strength can also result in powerful love between a man and a woman.  I would like to call this strength ‘The Power (Snatch) Of Love’.

Note: The Power Snatch is a popular weightlifting movement in crossfit.

Crossfit has become really popular in the recent years, but there has also been some backlash against the sport. Some go as far as calling crossfit a ‘cult’ referring the the crossfit community members as ‘drinking the kool-aid.’  Well, I did drink the crossfit kool-aid and guess what? It is delicious.

While in true Happy Hour Stories fashion, my kool-aid was most likely spiked, a majority of the crossfit community actually doesn’t drink or is on a strict paleo diet.  In fact, the ‘drinking the kool-aid’ comment is actually ironic because kool-aid isn’t paleo at all.

I have been regularly crossfitting for the past couple months and it has become an obsession of mine.  It has even got to the point where I will only schedule dates on my rest days or if they are willing to meet at a bar once I am done with my WOD (workout of the day for those who have not drunk the kool-aid yet).

I have had dates tell me that they were intimidated by my doing crossfit in the past and it has been a dealbreaker  for some.  However, it is almost getting to a point where there are just as much if not more women crossfitting on a daily basis than men.  Crossfit has become a passion of mine and I would like to date a man who respects and appreciates it; he doesn’t have to go lift with me on the reg but it is appreciated that men understand what the passion for it means.

Since I have had the experience of men being intimidated by women who crossfit, I thought I would take one for the team (or in this case the women of crossfit) to explain to men why they should date a crossfitter…with a Happy Hour Stories twist, of course.

Reasons to Date a Crossfitter

  1. 1.       We Like Both Types of Happy Hour at The Bar.

Most of the women in the crossfit community are a lot like myself; we try to eat clean where appropriate but are still trying to convince the crossfit community that wine is actually paleo. Therefore, the phrase ‘happy hour at the bar’ has two meanings – and we like them both.

Our first happy hour at the bar usually consists of being sweaty, no makeup on, with chalk filled hands grasping the bar with plates on the side anxiously waiting for the ‘3…2…1…GO’ from the coaches.  We work our ass off questioning our own sanity as to why it is we love this and actually pay money to do so until we are finished and lie on our backs feeling nothing but pride.

Our second happy hour at the bar usually consists of being all done up, makeup on, hair done, sporting heels hoisting up an athletic body anxiously waiting for the cocktail from the bartender.

Ironically, the latter happy hour would require only one shoe choice where the first we might have to get real high maintenance on you and change our shoes twice. Olys and Nanos are a girl’s wingwomen in that form of happy hour.

On a majority of the men’s online dating profiles that I have seen, I have read a line that sounds similar to ‘I am looking for a woman that likes to workout, but is also cool with going to the bar or hanging out with me and my friends.’

Well fellas, 3…2..1..GO!

  1. 2.       We Set PRs for Everything In Life.

The abbreviation ‘PR’ stands for ‘Personal Record’ in the crossfit world.  You have probably seen the Facebook message of one of your girlfriends that read ‘PRed Fran Today!’ and were scratching your head wondering what the hell she was talking about and who this mysterious Fran character was.

Crossfit is all about the personal victories and the little accomplishments worth celebrating. PRs happen everyday at a crossfit box, whether it is increasing a time of a workout, increasing weight on a movement, or just doing something for the first time.

Crossfitters tend to take that ‘PR Mentality’ outside of the box and apply it to other aspects in life.  For men the possibilities are endless. Crossfitting women are competitive in nature so think what types of PRs they can bring to the dating world!

Maybe her next Facebook status is ‘PRed the amount of minutes I was able to give my man a massage today!’

 

  1. 3.       We Have a Nice Rack and Can Snatch. Oh, and we can clean and jerk, too.

Get your mind out of the gutter my friends; these are all weightlifting movements. Although, the double entendre usually holds to be true.

If you walk into any crossfit gym you will find beautiful, strong women putting up some heavy weights while doing the typical Olympic lifting movements – squats, thrusters, power snatches, deadlifts, cleans, jerks, etc.

If you have a rough day at the gym and come home to your beautifully strong crossfitting girlfriend and say ‘Babe, I am so frustrated;  went for a 275 clean and jerk but couldn’t stand it back up.’ Guess what? She will know exactly what you mean – how hot is that?

You’ll just have to be prepared that your beautifully strong girlfriend might have gotten eerily close to some of your own weight numbers herself.

  1. 4.       We Partake in All Forms of 6 Packs.

It is no secret that crossfitters have amazing bodies – some of the best I have ever seen.  While not every women is sporting a chiseled six pack, a lot of them are or are super close.  Regardless, they have super strong, athletic bodies and are dedicated to taking care of them.

Here is a little secret, though. A lot of crossfitters love to party.  At crossfit competitions, events, or parties you can see those hotties with the six packs walking around with a 6 pack themselves.

I’ve even come across a couple of 8 and 12 pack abs as well. They must REALLY like to party.

  1. 5.       We Usually Wear Minimal Clothing to the Gym.

Enough said there, I think.

For the record, I want all the men out there to know that I am not saying that you have to date a crossfitter, just that there are some major perks to doing so. I totally understand that crossfit and/or dating someone who is passionate for crossfit is not for everyone.

I am still a strong believer in a work-life-play balance. My motto is work hard, play harder and WOD the hardest. Most women who crossfit still like to go out, go on dates and have a good time. They just also are badasses at the gym.

You can have your rum on a date and workout too. It is just referred to as Bacardio.

Extra Dry Martini

EXTRA Dry Martini (Guest Blogger)

This is about my very first online dating experience. I was new to this and decided to test the waters with a free dating site before I went all in. Needless to say, I think I might have gotten what I paid for!  So Mr. EXTRA dry has been named as such because he was very dry, both with his personality and the fact that he actually didn’t drink.  I’m not a huge drinker myself so I don’t judge people that drink more or less than me, and this wasn’t a deal breaker for me.

We chatted back and forth online, and I found that he didn’t drink and he was a vegetarian.  I told him I was a steak and potatoes girl and that I drank occasionally and asked if he had any issues with that, his response, “nope, I’m a nurse, so I just think it’s a healthier lifestyle for me, but it’s my choice”.  Well, OK then, I can respect that, not going to change my eating or drinking habits, but sure, do your thing.  He seemed interesting and nice enough so we set up a date. I let him pick the place and he chose the Melting Pot, known for being a very classy and romantic fondue restaurant.  I double checked that he really thought it out, and he said yup, let’s go.  For those that aren’t following, this is an awesome place and I love it there, but for a first date, eh, kind of a little too romantic for that, not to mention if you’re a vegetarian and you’re taking out a meat-etarian, you have to cook your food together, so be prepared, my scrumptious meat will touch your precious tofu at some point during the cooking process, heaven forbid.

OK, so date night arrives, I send my girlfriend the pic of my outfit for her approval and I head to the restaurant.  I walk into the restaurant, looking around for my date I feel a tug on my pants, look down and there he is…oh hey there lil’ guy!  OK, so that might be a slight exaggeration, but his profile advertised his height to be 5’11″ and he was NOT!  Guys, don’t lie about your height, I’m going to find out the truth when we meet obviously!  So he’s not as tall as claimed and he also looks nothing like his pictures (they were obviously taken a few years ago when he was hitting the gym and probably eating meat and drinking)…false advertiser, strike one.

 

He informed me that he got us seats at the bar to eat.  This would not be my choice for my favorite spot for this blind date (I used to be a bartender and thoroughly enjoyed watching blind dates go south, sorry people, but it’s funny!).  But I’m a good sport so I said to myself, “let’s do this!”  We sit down and order drinks, I get a glass of red wine and he orders his water and we delve into the menu.  I order a little surf n turf type thing and he orders the vegetarian option. The Melting Pot menu only includes one vegetarian option and he informs me of his annoyance with that. The menu’s online and you picked this place, uh, your own fault buddy. Plus, don’t have a cow about this and just start eating them…I am sure you will get over it quickly.

Sidenote, when talking to my friends prior to this date they asked me if he was a recovering alcoholic because he didn’t drink at all, hmmmm, hadn’t really considered it, but you never know.  So after he asked, “whats up with that?”  while pointing at my glass of wine, I looked at him with an inquisitive look and said, “I just got off work and I’m on a date, so why not?”…waaaait a second, why am I justifying this??  I told you I drink occasionally and asked if you had an issue, you said no.  So now my friends voices jump into my head, did he used to have a drinking problem?  So I ask him and he responded, wait for it…” I didn’t have a drinking problem; I just wouldn’t stop once I started .”  Uhh, that sounds like a problem to me! Oh man, in full denial about a  drinking problem…strike two.

Our food comes out and we start cooking. Fondue is quite the commitment on a first date since it takes a long time and you have to make sure everything cooks through. I’m ready to bail already, but we still have to cook our dinner…fail.  The third strike came when he asked me how my “shit factories” tasted. Um, excuse me?  I like joking around and teasing, but when referring to my food and the poop it produces, no thank you.  Nothing makes me want to eat my food more than when it is referred to as “shit” and no man turns me on more than when he references “shit” on a first date.

You think it’s over, but no my friends, after all, this was my first date and I actually pitied the guy and didn’t know how to handle the embarrassing situation.  So when he asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee after the date I thought to myself, this guy just spent $150 on a terrible date, the least I can do is buy this poor chap a cup of coffee and maybe let him down gently over a vanilla latte.  So even though I didn’t think we were a great match, I agreed to go. I know what you’re thinking (I’m an idiot), but without agreeing I wouldn’t have this little tidbit to leave you with from my Extra Dry Martini so I take it as a base hit for me. After we get the coffee and sit down he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. When he returned he sat down and stated, “Ew that was the most disgusting bathroom I’ve ever been in.” GAME OVER.

I stood up, told him it was getting late and that I had to go, dodging his hug attempt (after all, he did just use the dirtiest bathroom) and made a break for it.  Sorry buddy, you are obviously looking for a sober vegetarian who can clean and likes talking about shit. I’m not her!

Chelsea’s Comments:

WOW, this guy would have left me shaken, not stirred.  I love me an Extra Dry Martini, but only when that is referring to little vermouth….not little manners or personality. A for effort though on the date location, but I agree with you that is quite a commitment on a first date. It is hard to cut a date short when your sober vegetarian is concentrating on his cheese fondue and you are waiting for your meat to stop moo-ing.  I understand what you mean when you feel like you had to get coffee afterwards and I have been there more than I would like to admit myself.

The only good thing to come out of this was a good meal it sounds like – at least he paid for the date! A vegetarian that lies about his height that has a drinking problem is usually a deal breaker for most women. But a cheap one that doesn’t pay for a date on top of that would be the deal breaker of epic proportions.

I hope you went home and made yourself an Extra Dry Dirty Martini and realized how awesome you are ;) And possibly took a shower….

Olympic Rings Cocktail

5 Life Savers

1 ½ ounce Three Olives Loopy Vodka

4 oz. Sprite

Ready for the Olympics? Start the games off right by filling a martini glass with Life Savers of Olypmic colors (Red, Blue, Yellow, & Green…sorry friends, the Black Lifesaver doesn’t exist unfortunately).  Add 1 ½ ounces of Three Olives Loopy Vodka and 4 oz. Sprite into the martini glass.